dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
