WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
