my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
