Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
They took my balls.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
