you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
