god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
