I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you never un-have a 4some
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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