So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
