Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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