I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize