Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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