you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
