Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize