when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
