Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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