after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Randomize
