Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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