he wants to bone in the snuggie
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.