So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.