dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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