I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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