worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When are your genitals available?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize