My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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