Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
