it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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