She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
