i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She needs sedatives and a leash
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize