But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
