what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that