I am in a vortex of obligation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?