I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.