You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity