Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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