Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't think brook has ever known best
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
