talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
