I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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