I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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