: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
soo... how was my night?
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