She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
