Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I supernannyed him into submission
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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