Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
