I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
