oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
