its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
