oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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