from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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