woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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