i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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