i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
