My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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