Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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