phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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