this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
