What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
