Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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