he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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