none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
