are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
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Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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