And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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