It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize