dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize