You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
