You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize