we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
