Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
